Twilight for the ages

OK, we know that Twilight is all the rage with the young chippies, and that (in spite of its popularity) there are some hard-core vampyre and Werewülf fans that feel that it was, well, just a bit silly. well, if you watched SNL last weekend, you would have seen what just could have been a better film had it been made instead.

I don’t know about you folk, but I honestly think that this would have made a better film, but that’s me.

The Perfessor

Sucking the Blood out of Vampire Authors.

(This one is for Walt)

breaking dawnWe’ve seen it all, vampires in forbidden love affairs (with mortals), vampires getting married (to each other, and mortals), vampires on honeymoons (doin’s it “mortal style” as it were), vampires having babies (biting mom on the way out?).

And now you can read you can all read it all in the fourth installment of Stephenie Meyer’s best-selling “Twilight” series, Breaking Dawn, which has spawned hordes of fans and a movie franchise. However, according to a little-known author named Jordan Scott, you may have read it all before. Scott, who is a California college student, claims that Meyer’s vampire romance scenes were actually lifted from her 2006 novel, The Nocturne.


Scott’s lawyer, J. Craig Williams, a partner at Sedgwick, Moran, Detert & Arnold, sent a cease-and-desist letter to Meyer’s publisher, the Hachette Book Group, this week claiming Meyer plagiarized parts of Scott’s book.

Read the rest over here.

The Perfessor

Kevin Smith on Twilight fan reaction to new movie clip

Like the people who pooh-pooh’d Harry Potter, Twilight outsiders are just getting their dander up over the fawning nature of the Tweenagers, and Kevin Smith had a moment to address this during this last week’s Comic-Con in San Diego.

It’s Kevin Smith, so expect a fair number of conversational expletives. Otherwise, he’s pretty much right on the money. If you don’t want to spend the 2 1/2 minutes listening, he’s telling the mostly male audience that these girls will grow eventually grow up, and when they do, they’ll be cool with all sorts of things, (nudge nudge!) … only he says it in his own Kevin Smith sort of way.

YouTube link

Why Twilight Bites, Zack & Miri are Hysterical, and The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is disturbing

From the Shadow of the 14th rowThis past Saturday I did something that I enjoy, that I haven’t done in a little while (No, Walt, get your mind out of the gutter, eh?). I went to the movies. To be sure, I went to three movies. First I took my wife and daughter to see the WWII drama The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (based on the eponymous book, which my daughter is still reading); then later I took my (17-year-old) Son to see Twilight and Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Yep, I’m up for Dad of the Year!

First up, Dawson’s Creek meets Dracula goes Hollywood…I mean, Twilight. Now, you’ll have to forgive me here, but I am so not the target audience for this film (neither is my son, but on some level, a film is a film, so we went).

Based on the eponymous book, I’m sure it is true to the prose, but I couldn’t warm up to it at all. To be sure, I like my vampires more Blade Style, watching a bunch of breathy, emo teens, agonizing over and confessing to eternal love, it is really more than I’m prepared to deal with, truly. Further, while I understand that many other writers have screwed around with Vampire legend, what is done in this film is really too much. Vampires that can walk in daylight? Sparkle in the sun? Sorry, I’d rather go back to Lestat, and watch pretty-boy Cruise bite a pre-teen Kirsten Dunst on the neck.

Yeah, sure it was a PG-13 film targeted for weepy tweens, but, seriously, I couldn’t take it. the sex was all anticipation and no delivery, and the violence didn’t rise to the level of a ’60s-era Looney Tunes. Go if you must, but this film really sucks.

Next up, I want to talk about The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Also based on the eponymous book this far more serious tome is set during World War II, and deals with the War, and the Work Camp overseen by the eight-year-old son of an Iron-Willed SS Officer. As the events of the film are seen through the innocent eyes of Bruno, the early parts of the film take on a surreal innocent quality. Things change in Brono’s life when he and his family move from Berlin to just a couple of miles outside the camp. Against his parents instructions, the boy finds his way to the camp and strikes up a forbidden friendship with a Jewish boy on the other side of the camp fence which results in has startling and unexpected consequences.

Seriously — without giving anything away — the film turns horrific and (again while nothing was actually shown on-screen — this was the first film I ever watched where I desperately wanted to walk out of the theater before the credits rolled so I wouldn’t have to witness the train wreck that I knew was inevitable. Go, watch the film, but be aware that the ending will haunt you.

Finally we have Kevin Smith new flick that stars Seth Rogen in his usual role of a foul-mouth lovable loser. This time out our buddy Seth (Zack) is lifelong (platonic) friends with his oldest friend, Miri (Elizabeth Banks) who are both dead broke, and who are not only months behind on all of their bills, but they have just had their power turned off. In an effort to solve their respective cash-flow problems they hit on the idea of making an adult film together.

Needless to say, as soon as the cameras start to roll, they begin to sense that they may have more feelings for each other than they previously thought. Still, that is just the sidebar issue, what takes center stage is how these two pals manage to recruit a few friends and strangers to stage what can only be described as the worst low-budget porno flick ever shot to video.

Still, what we get to see on the screen is friggin hilarious and will keep you laughing all the way through this thoroughly enjoyable film. On a personal note, I have to say that while I’m certain that Smith didn’t see, or couldn’t have predicted the economic meltdown of our economy, watching this film can only help to take your minds off your own financial worries.

The Perfessor