In the end, it’s all about Pie….

The Perfessor

Beware the Turkey Zombie Apocalypse

Yeah, like that!

The Perfessor

Happy Turkey Day, from WKRP!

Thankful

TL;DR: HAPPY THANKSGIVING! See the end for a funny bit.

Hi, folks! Walt here. I’ve been on light duty these past few weeks, and merely been posting what I’ve thought was a bit different from the interwebs. Most of the time that consisted of pictures and items I thought you hadn’t seen yet. I haven’t editorialized much, and after the run up to the election, I’m sure you were thankful for that.

I’ve been busy in the background, working to find oil and gas to help power your car. And let me tell you, digging a hole in the ground a couple of miles deep ain’t easy.

I’ve also been busy preparing to write a book. This will be my first book ever. Therefore, I expect nothing but excellence to flow from my fingertips. I’ll have help along the way, however. Partnering up with me will be someone who’s published over four dozen novels. If that sounds a bit overwhelming to the novice writer, it is. But I refuse to feel daunted. Most of you who know me can easily guess who this mystery author partner is, but I’ll save the formal announcement until after some real work has been done.

What’s the book about, you ask? We’re keeping that under wraps as well for the moment. Because it’s the idea of the book that managed to sway my oft published author into our little endeavor. It’s a good story. I love this story, and I promise you will too. I’ll try to update this in the spring when some of these ideas have been put down on paper, er, pixels.

I’m writing this post before Thanksgiving here in Texas because I AM thankful. I’m thankful for the opportunity to say hello to you, thankful to be in a great country that manages to survive and even prosper not despite of its division, but often because of it. The combination of all the things makes us stronger. It’s not the weakest link in the chain that’s the problem, because life isn’t a chain. It’s more like a net, a web. Weak links should be supported by strong ones nearby. Strong links by themselves have little value. Try to remember that this Thanksgiving.

Now, a memory of Thanksgivings past. We live in a modern age, and here’s an update to Thanksgiving that just didn’t seem to catch on.
From 1993’s Saturday Night Live… well, just hit play

Black Friday Myths revealed!

So I’ve been hearing ads for Black Friday all week or so, and well, I really hate the term “Black Friday” as it sounds ominous. Yeah Yeah I’ve heard why it is called as such, but still, I just never really liked it much. Then I came across this article explaining some of the myths about this day, and well, now I feel a bit better about it all.

#5. It’s the Biggest Shopping Day of the Year
#4. It Turns Americans Into Sale-Crazed Lunatics
#3. Black Friday Is the Day After Thanksgiving
#2. It’s Good for Everyone
#1. The Name Has a Special Meaning

Yep, this Black Friday thing isn’t quite what people seem to believe it is.

The alarms start going off at 3:30 in the morning. Soon-to-be shoppers stumble angrily out of bed with fanny packs of coupons strapped to their waist. Coffee begins working its way through the Thanksgiving themed traffic jam in your entrails. Showers are neglected. Puppies are kicked. Bleary-eyed motorists start pulling out of driveways, and it becomes official. The Holiday Shopping Season has begun.
Even if you don’t make the trip to the mall every Black Friday, you probably assume everyone out there is fighting through waves of toy riots and security guards to be the first ones in line. In reality, most of what you believe about Black Friday is a myth, right down to the day it falls on.

Me? I’ll be snug in my bed come Friday morning. Have fun, folks.

The Perfessor

Happy Day, You Turkeys!

This just in, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention has issued the following warning:zombie turkeys are on the loose! Yep, you read that right, zombie turkeys are on the loose, and they apparently they want to eat your brains for Thanksgiving. Earlier today, Scientists from the CDC released a formal warning earlier this morning.

“We are currently witnessing one of the worst zombie attacks in recent history,” the report said. “Turkeys across America are rising from the dead and feasting on the flesh of their golden brown, perfectly roasted brethren.”

According to researchers, the source of the zombie turkey outbreak can be traced back to a turkey farm in West Virginia. There, local farmers experimented with a new, synthetic flavor injection that they hoped would increase the fat deposits on deceased turkeys.

Yep, that’s right kids, Zombie Turkeys, and we know that it is true, because the government told us and used Al Gore’s Internet to tell us. So we need to batten down those hatches, break out the duct tape and prepare for the worse!

So to prepare for this horrific Zombie Turkey invasion, We suggest that this Black Friday, you all stock up on Zombie Turkey Outbreak from XBox (if its not too late).

Be safe out there.

The Perfessor