Everything’s big in Texas

Even, apparently, stupidity. Yep you heard that right (no offense to our buddy, Walt), but they seem to have big brass ones down there when it comes to retconning history. Yeah, you recall how we talked about how the Texas School Board custom-orders history to fill its bill of how history should have been (in order to teach our impressionable students). Well, here is some of the backlash.

Hey, kids! Here’s something I bet you didn’t know: Black people? Back in 1800 or whenever? They liked being slaves. True! Many savvy, industrious Negroes actually volunteered for that fine, desirable position. It was a completely balanced, fair, hugely successful system, until those damn liberals came along and ruined everything. I know, right? What a shame.

Do you know what else? America was wholly victorious in Vietnam. It’s a fact! Kicked some serious enemy butt! Mission accomplished! Sure it was a little bumpy for awhile, but President Nixon, that great and wronged American hero, put us on the righteous path in the end, wrapped that sucker up beautifully and made America the noble Superman to the world. Hey, it’s the truth! You can look it up in your history textbook!

Never doubt America’s irrefutable greatness, kids. If you do, you could wind up in Gitmo…or worse.

The Perfessor

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The Perfessor

Writer with Attitude, and things to say!

2 thoughts on “Everything’s big in Texas”

  1. I think that was exaggeration for effect. You have to read the entire drivel to get the “I think I’m exaggerating, but you just wait!” bit at the end of the fourth page of his rant.

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