OK, so Martha Stewart is getting out (or rather has gotten out by the time you read this) of the slam, and it’s the lead story of Newsweek.
Only, that’s not really Martha on the cover.
According to Newsweek itself, that’s really Martha’s head Photoshopped onto the body of a (slimmer, younger) Model.
According to Newsweek, this is okay, because “everyone understands or knows “ that’s not really in the photo, but it is merely a “photo rendition” or some such nonsense.
(Yea, like that wasn’t really Oswald in the photo holding the rifle, with the shadows going the wrong way, it was simply a “representation of what someone wanted you to think”)
Why has this gotten me all Ramboed up? Simple, when Comedy Central’s The Daily Show has Ed Helms reporting “live” from Mars, or Rob Cordery, reporting “live” from Baghdad I know that they are pulling my chain, because the show’s host Jon Stewart freely admits that he is a fake newsman on a fake news show, and yes, I get the joke. However when Newsweek fakes a photo for effect, it (a legitimate newsmagazine, reporting actual news) has crossed the line. How can I now trust it to accurately represent the news, when I know that it faked a photo for effect?
Perhaps the next time Newsweek will simply pose actors in a situation, and take a photo to “show us how Lacy Peterson’s husband probably strangled her”. Isn’t that what the tabloids do? Doctor up photos for the purpose of sensationalism? (I’m reminded of the story about how Denzil Washington was walking out of a restaurant and happened to run into Diana Ross as he was exiting. A Paparazzi snapped a picture of them leaving together, and Ross told him to quickly call his wife and explain what happened. Washington asked why, and Ross told him that their picture was going to appear in a tabloid with a story about how they were having an affair. He didn’t believe her at first but sure enough, the following week, there it was. With nothing to back up the story, and nothing to go on but a candidly snapped photo of a chance meeting, the scandal sheet built an entire story about how the two were seeing each other.)
So yeah, I’m just a little bit miffed.
But to get back to Martha. So she spent what? seven, eight? months in a minimum security prison for securities fraud and lying to the Grand Jury, and now she is out. Her net worth has like tripled, her show has been re-syndicated all around the country and is now in more markets than it was when she went in, and she has to spend the next year confined in her $40 million mansion. All because she is a lying, cheating, selfish thief. While she was in jail, she continued to conduct business, meet with advisors, and generall have the run of the place. Yeah, that’s what prison is all about.
Somebody ought to pimp-slap that bitch around for the next several months so she gets a real feel of what the justice system is all about, eh? And of course the real crime is that some poor shulb out in Texas who got busted for a quarter oz. of weed back in ’74 is still doing hard time. I seriously tell you there oughta be a law!