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The Return of John Wilcox

by The Perfessor

John Wilcox is a buddy of mine, my sometimes writing partner, and an extraordinarily talented fellow. He is also a comicstrip character. No, I haven’t taken leave of my senses I never had any, nor have I taken to talking to any 6' Rabbits named Harvey, either. John is a real as am I (after a fashion) but he has also achieved a fame that surpasses my own and inspires awe and envy in others.

Don’t believe me? Check it out for yourself; John has appeared once again (this time on March 3rd), in Bob Webber Sr.’s syndicated comic strip Moose and Molly. Now I ask you, what’s cooler than that?

Wilcox-1

I’ve known John for over 20 years, and I’m constantly impressed by him. Today, I want to reach out and touch him, not — I might add — in a Brokeback Mountain sort of way, but, in the way heterosexual, grown men do in sort of a gosh-wow, “If I touch you, perhaps I too could become famous,” sort of way.

The Perfessor

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 11th, 2006 at 12:14 am and is filed under Funny Book City. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

2 Responses to “The Return of John Wilcox”

  1. Walt Says:
    March 11th, 2006 at 8:29 am

    The Vice President DOES need a new hunting partner...

  2. The Perfessor Says:
    March 11th, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    THIS JUST IN!

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — A white house source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President Dick Cheney the Medal of Freedom, the national highest civilian commendation, for his act of bravery in shooting an attorney.

    The source was quoted to say, “All Americans have wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another and Cheney actually had the balls to do it”.

    In a related story, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which issues hunting licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters, wishing to bag a lawyer, to have the new “lawyer’s stamp” on their hunting license. Currently Texas hunters are required to carry stamps for hunting birds, deer, and bear, at a cost of $7 annually. The new “lawyers stamp” will cost $100, but open season will be all year long.

    The department further stated that although the “lawyers stamp” comes at hefty price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate annual revenues in excess of $3 billion dollars the first year. Other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.

    Impatient with efforts to close the courts to litigants, the Administration literally fired the first shot in its groundbreaking “No Lawyer Left Standing” initiative. Vice President Cheney, hunting on a private lawyer ranch near Kingsville, Texas, bagged an impressive buck (Harry Whittington, UT Law ‘50). Under the new program, hunters may take one white shoe in-house lawyer or three outside lawyers daily. The limit has been suspended for trial lawyers. “We’ve just got to thin the herd,” said the Vice-President. “We’ve tried tort reform and caps on damages, but people are still suing.” Cheney added, “It’s easy and fun. In Texas, you can shoot in almost any direction and hit a lawyer.”

    OK, it was a cheap shot, but it sure were fun!

    The Perfessor