Cuppacafe

If there is one thing we love here at Cuppacafe, it is Zombies. Yep, we totally love 'em to death (sure, sure we also love Vampyres and Werewüves as well, but there's just something special about zombies). So it was something of a surprise when we read Cracked Top Seven scientific Reasons why a world-wide Zombie Apocalypse would fail. These include:

#7. They Have Too Many Natural Predators
#6. They Can't Take the Heat
#5. They Can't Handle the Cold
#4. Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread a Disease
#3. They Can't Heal from Day to Day Damage
#2. The Landscape is Full of Zombie-Proof Barriers
#1. Weapons and the People Who Use Them

To be sure, we found the logic behind these reasons simply hilarious, but somewhat disheartening that one of our own top ten End of the World scenarios, in all probability, simply could not come about. Still, that won't stop us from enjoying George Romero's flicks, or going to see the next great Zombie flick:

Anyways, in the event of an actual zombie attack you, at least will be spared...

The Perfessor

So you might have heard about this 50-car pile up in Shelton, CT today, due to “black ice” but considering that the info came from Fox News that has consistently made mistakes in their recent reporting.

SHELTON, Conn. — Police say at least 50 cars crashed in a chain-reaction collision on a wet Connecticut road that was turning icy, and 46 people reported minor injuries.

Shelton police Detective Sgt. Kevin Ahern says six people were taken to hospitals from the wreck that happened shortly after noon Sunday on state route 110. None of the injuries were life-threatening.

WFSB says the southwestern Connecticut road has been closed for more than five hours so authorities can continue investigating the accident. Police expected it to reopen early Sunday evening.

However, I have it on good authority that the scene looked more like this...

What? Too soon?

The Perfessor

So you all missed it, there was this midget fortuneteller that recently escaped from Connecticut’s Danbury State Prison. The next day, the headline from the local newspaper read “Small Medium at Large.”

OK, OK, so that really didn’t happen, but I really like that joke, and well, I just couldn’t resit telling it here.

So, one of the really cool things about technology (when it works the way it is supposed to), is that it allows you to live your life in a way that — quite literally — allows you to bend time and space to your bidding. No, I haven’t been dipping into the (medicinal) Cannabis this morning (at least not yet), what I’m talking about is my DVR player. no, seriously. You see, it allows me to watch programs that I taped days, weeks, even months earlier. And that is precisely what happened the other day when I watched an episode of Medium.

If you haven’t ever seen the show, it is about a housewife with psychic powers helps the Phoenix DA catch criminals. This particular episode was the Halloween episode, and well, it was not only damn good, but it was extremely creepy.

Now, to digress for a moment. I like Medium, the wife and I have been watching it from the beginning an, well, it is interesting, if annoying. The part that I find annoying is that, well, every single episode is exactly the same as every single other episode. Allison has a dream about something and somehow (and for some reason) the people around her (mostly her husband) don’t quite believe what she sees is true, and tries to talk her down from what we all know is going to happen anyway. Eventually her dream is proven right, she is exonerated, and the criminal is caught. Now this would work well for the first show, but since it has been on for a couple or three seasons (and presumably her husband has been with her and known about her abilities for at least 17 or so years) You have to wonder why he never quite believes her dreams.

Still, this Halloween episode was different. Allison’s dreams were placing her inside the original Night of the Living Dead film. Now you have to understand, I’ve seen that film,and it doesn’t end well for the folks in it. So as Allison was dreaming herself as a part of this movie, I’m freaking out over what could possibly happen. Sure, I know that she isn’t going to die, as she is the star, but still. The concept of going to sleep and every night waking up with dead people talking to you is bad enough, but now she is wrapped inside one of the creepiest films ever made.

Here is a brief clip from the episode, if you want to watch longer clips from the show, you can go here:

I won’t tell you how it turns out (that is completely secondary here), but that it really was one of the best episodes of this quirky TV show.

The Perfessor

As you all know, we here at Cuppacafe are big Zombie fans, well, when we came across this bit, we couldn’t help but to post it:

We were trying heard to think of a joke to go along with it, but, well, we were truly stumped, so we are just going to let it stand as is.

The Perfessor

That’s right. We want your brains, but not in an intellectual, “let’s think thin through” sort of way. We want your brains to toss out to the impending gathering of wolves that is being predicted as a possible future Zombie attack.

No, No, I’m not talking about George Romero’s classic horror film Night of the Living Dead, nor am I speaking of the upcoming Woody Harrelson vehicle Zombieland. I’m talking about a real-life, actual attack of Flesh-eating (brain swallowing) Zombies.

And no, I haven’t taken complete leave of my senses (no matter what Walt will have you believe). I’m reading up on this from this guy. No, seriously, there is a guy out there who is actually talking about the possibility of the outbreak of a flesh-eating virus that will turn dead people into brain-eating zombies.

An outbreak of zombies infecting humans is likely to be disastrous, unless extremely aggressive tactics are employed against the undead. While aggressive quarantine may eradicate the infection, this is unlikely to happen in practice. A cure would only result in some humans surviving the outbreak, although they will still coexist with zombies. Only sufficiently frequent attacks, with increasing force, will result in eradication, assuming the available resources can be mustered in time.

Furthermore, these results assumed that the timescale of the outbreak was short, so that the natural birth and death rates could be ignored. If the timescale of the outbreak increases, then the result is the doomsday scenario: an outbreak of zombies will result in the collapse of civilization, with every human infected, or dead. This is because human births and deaths will provide the undead with a limitless supply of new bodies to infect, resurrect and convert. Thus, if zombies arrive, we must act quickly and decisively to eradicate them before they eradicate us.

And while I think that this guy might have been hitting the Uncle Jack a bit hard before breakfast (something that I’ve been known to do myself), I do believe that the difference is that he is probably serious about what he sees in the dark of the night.

Anyway, there are (or seem to be) quite a load of folk who seem to be taking this guy seriously. I mean, would you ever think that you might be useful in the event of a zombie attack? Well, why not find out by taking a quiz to find out how effective you might be in the event of an assault by the undead.

Oh yeah, and as we’ve already been talking about our pal George Romero, apparently he is going to go back to the well for yet another bite of the Zombie apple.

"I keep asking myself, 'When are people going to say enough with the zombies, already?' " George Romero said with a laugh yesterday as he promoted Survival Of The Dead, the latest instalment of his now six-film "walking dead" oeuvre.

Now I’m not saying that a real-life zombie attack isn’t entirely possible, because, well, there are some strange folks out there, and well, I have seen some very odd things (one of them is this trailer).

So, yeah, this whole Attack of the Zombies motif is funny and all, but really? Zombies?

Makes you think, eh? Me, I think I’m going back to sniffing glue.

The Perfessor

If you ever wondered how to kill a zombie, it would be best for you to watch this compelling video.

The Perfessor