Cuppacafe

Now It Can Be Told: Last week, I had a repeat of sorts of an accident I had about two years ago, where my dog tried to kill me. Believe me, I certainly helped generously both times... much like it would be where walking into a lion's den wearing steak is helping out the lions who would then do what they are normally wont to do...

I have always walked my dogs by using a bicycle or skates. It's fun, and yes, a bit of a challenge, but I've never met a dog who didn't like it. So, yes, I'm asking for trouble from the start. I know. I've only fallen while "skating the dog" a few times, and all of those were controlled falls -- on grass, that sort.

In both of my dog caused bicycle falls, last week and two years ago, the bike stopped... and I didn't. This has become a habit with me... The same process broke my two front teeth off when I was six and my right pinky finger when I was 14. When I was six, it wasn't a bicycle, but my big brother's skateboard with metal wheels. A skateboard fringed with a one inch strip of blue shag carpeting. I wasn't standing on it, but kneeling. But I digress.

Our little Snickers, half beagle, half English pointer, fully passive-aggressive, tends to chew on her leash and/or harness if she's attached to it and unsupervised for any length of time. We had just purchased a new leash and harness, and the leash is really cool in that it's got a latch and rings at either end. I thought, "Cool! I'll just attach my end of the leash on the back handlebars of the (tandem) bike, and I won't have to hold the leash, keeping both hands on the handlebars for steering!"

Bad idea.

--

[Flashback] A couple of years ago, our previous dog Smith, may he rest in doggie heaven, was on the right side of me, sped up and got too close to my front wheel as we readied to make a left turn onto our home street. I pushed him away, because we were slowing, getting ready to make a wide turn as a car approached from the front. We normally cut the corner short. Smith pushed my right foot and the toe/arch of my foot went in between the front spokes of the front wheel of the still moving bike. My foot twisted as the spokes caught it and rolled up to the front fork. This crushed my twisted foot and ... stopped the bike. Well, the front wheel of the bike. I would have flown off the front of the bike, but as you already know, my foot was firmly attached to said front wheel. But the top half of me was still moving, flying over the handlebars. The back end of the tandem bicycle flipped up in the air with the force. I landed on my hands, fracturing the outside bone in my right arm, and tearing more than a few ligaments.

I called my wife Alison, just down the street, and she answered and came to pick up me and the bike and the dog. [End Flashback with prospect of painful arm and a messed up wrist]

--

Always wary of cars when walking the dog, here I am with the STUPID idea of keeping the dog attached to the bike -- hindsight is 20/20 -- and we're on the same route, but this time we're just two doors down from my house. Almost home. This time, a car is coming down the street from behind us, and I'm thinking that the car is going a bit fast -- I can hear it from the approach. We're coming up on a car parked across the street from our path, so this speeding car is going to have to come close to us as it passes both us and the parked car. I scoot a little closer to the curb. The dog is always between me and the curb when we bike. And the dog never goes on the wrong side of the mailboxes.

Well, almost never.

Snickers chose this one time to get a little spooked and went up on the curb, and on the other side of the mailbox two doors down from us. She's got a harness on -- she's not going to suffer one iota here. I can't say the same for me.

Like before, the bike comes to a stop. I don't.

This time, however, my entire body is free to leave the confines of the bicycle and I begin my very short flight over the handlebars of this tandem bicycle.

Here's where the interesting part comes. You would have expected me to hit the ground again with my hands and/or face, right? Nope. I was surprised, too -- and I was the one doing the flying here. My head/torso was doing the usual act, moving forward, but my legs were flying back so for a brief instant I must have been sort of parallel to the ground. The bruise on my upper thigh suggests that my thighs hit the front handlebars, which threw my feet upwards. But the distance to the BACK handlebars on the tandem bicycle is rather short and my left ankle caught.

It's like someone caught me by the ankle in mid flight. With my left leg stretched tight, I fell, my full weight on my upper thigh, hyperextending the crap out of my left knee. Only then did the bicycle fall to the grass.

The woman in the speeding car witnessed all of this, stopped to render aid, and I told her I was just two doors down from my own home. The woman asked if she could knock on my door? I said, "No need, I'll just call her on my cel phone." I'm dialing. Woman drives off. Dog licks me. I'm writhing in pain.

Alison doesn't hear her cel phone vibrate. I'm there for several more minutes, and step-daughter rolls up for a visit, and goes in and grabs her mother who was busy under some headphones and had no idea I felt like I needed a knee transplant.

--

For all the temporary nausea and near brokenness of my various body parts, I suffered no real lasting injury. Five days later and my limp is gone and the tendons/ligaments behind my knee are almost completely without pain. I imagine the stiffness will linger a bit longer, however.

But I'm getting older, and sometimes I wonder if this body is going to hold up. It's the only one I've got.

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 12th, 2007 at 2:29 pm and is filed under Domestic Bliss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.