Dead Man Emailing

Do you know what a “Dead Man’s Switch” is? Where you set something up, and if something happens to you, the switch “activates” something? If a railroad brakeman falls off the train, the train won’t somehow become a runaway… Fictional writers love to set up scenarios with crazed bombers and Dead Man Switches.

The modified Dead Man’s Switch is where you have some incriminating evidence, and a friend holds onto it, and promises to mail it if your meeting with MR.BIG goes badly… Yeah, that’ll serve notice to MR.BIG. He’s in trouble, but you’re still dead.

Well, now you can have a service where you can email people after you’re dead. Well, not exactly.

After God calls you home.

You know. The RAPTURE.

You’ve seen the bumper stickers. “In case of RAPTURE, this car will be unmanned.” Uh, like why should you care what happens to the people behind your car when you evaporate? If they can read your bumper sticker, they’re going to have a much better view of your last moments in that car than you’ll ever have. Not only that, but I have a question: If you do get taken in the RAPTURE, and, well, you’re not going to be needing that car, are you? I can like take it, right? I’m sure I can get a good price for it, and I’ll put flowers on your headstone. I promise. Funny, I used to see those bumper stickers all the time, and for the life of me I can never remember seeing one on a Cadillac.

Well, there’s a website related to all this. It’s called RAPTURELETTERS.com and they provide an interesting service.
After THE RAPTURE, the website is designed to send out emails to your loved ones in your name telling them where you’ve gone.

This message has been sent to you by a friend or a relative who has recently disappeared along with millions and millions of people around the world.

The reason they chose to send you this letter is because they cared about you and would like you to know the truth about where they went.

This may come as a shock to you, but the one who sent you this has been taken up to heaven.

Almost like email from Heaven, isn’t it? I wonder if this will get put in the Spam folder…

Now presumably, anyone of your loved ones who are ALSO called up to heaven certainly doesn’t have a need for the email, as they’re up there with you. They’ve got a new email address now…

But here’s my question: When THE RAPTURE occurs, God’s already made His choice. You’re either In or you’re uh, not In. Okay, so tell me. What’s the letter to your friend for? If he’s reading your letter from the great beyond, he’s not going to Heaven and you are. You can feel nice. He’s supposed to feel like crap. So, I can think of only one thing that letter would be for. Rubbing it in.

That’s right. All that letter says is “I got to Heaven and you’re stuck on Earth, so there! Ha-Ha!” Pretty condescending, huh? But I have another thought. Maybe you’re not so goody-two-shoes. Maybe you’re afraid that when THE RAPTURE comes you’ll be left behind! How would you know?

And then I thought of it: Another use for this vital service! Sign up with this RaptureLetter.com site, and put your OWN email address on there, and send YOURSELF this note when THE RAPTURE occurs!

This way, you’re the first to know you’re royally screwed.

Hacking Paris Hilton

Some months back, a hacker managed to break into the T-Mobile networks, and after the chase was on for the hacker, even managed to hack into the T-Mobile phone account of the Secret Service agent that was trailing him. The T-Mobile network happens to be the phone network that I’m on, so I paid it a little attention, and like others didn’t really notice this last week when the hacker pled guilty as part of a sealed plea agreement. The hacker got into the T-Mobile database, collecting Social Security numbers, phone lists, and even the IMs and photos taken by folks on their cell phones. Before he was caught, the some of this information made it around in the backchannels of the internet, as well as the cell phone photos stolen right off of T-Mobile server space.

You would think that T-Mobile would have fixed the security of their servers, as soon as the information about the hacker and his capture became public knowledge. But I’m guessing this Continue reading Hacking Paris Hilton

Here I am to Save the Day!

Ok, Ok, well maybe not Save the day, but I am here to try to entertain you. From past experiences, I know that my ramblings and rants will certainly entertain me, if you are entertained as well, all the better, but I won’t be offended if you aren’t. Seriously thou, while I am a professional writer in my other life. This will be my first experience with an on-line blog.
As stated, I’m a writer, editor (and graphic production artist — in the printing world I’m a Prepress Operator, in the corporate world I’d be called a Document Specialist — just a naming convention thing) but we can do more of that later. Right now I wanted to introduce myself, and let you know what kind of stuff you can expect to see from me. I’m kind of a pop-culture buff, I enjoy movies, (been reviewing them professionally for some 15+ years), TV, Comics (been a fan with pro experience for over 40 years (yeah I’m freekin’ old! and don’t you forget it!)
SO this here is just me saying hi, and I’ll get to my actual posts in just a bit, promise. Talk to you all soon.
The Perfessor

Inducing a stroke in the blind guy from Star Trek

Wired has an article about the celebrities that shop at the Apple Store
at the Grove Mall near Hollywood. Some celebs are nice, such as Kiefer
Sutherland, who thanks everybody, and the Wayans brothers, Marlon and
Keenan… And then you have the idiots. The star that wants her pink
mini iPod, and she wants it now! Don’t you KNOW they have a special
reserve of iPods for celebrities ? I’ll let you read which one that is,
because I don’t happen to think she’s much of a celeb these days. And
then there was Levar Burton. You know, the "blind dude" from Star Trek:
The Next Iteration Generation?

The associate, who also asked to remain anonymous, said he made the mistake of asking Burton for some ID when the actor was making a big credit card purchase. The associate said he recognized Burton, but wanted to reassure him he was doing a thorough job of checking credentials.

Burton “began shouting at me to ask anyone in the store who he was, all the while telling me that he left his ID in the car and he didn’t want to have to go get it,” the associate said. “I finally caved in, only because I could see a vein pulsating in his forehead and I didn’t want to be the one responsible for causing the blind dude from Star Trek to have a stroke.”

So, just remember folks,
if someone demands something
from your store…
and the guy looks anything like this:

 

Give him whatever the hell he wants
and charge it to Levar Burton!