From the Shadow of the 14th Row

Years and Years ago, I wrote a film column for a local publication. The column was titled From the Shadow of the 14th Row (which, by-the-by) is the title of a song by Styx). While I still write a film column (that shows up in both print, as well as a couple of places on the Web) I no longer use that title. Anywho, I saw a couple of films last night with my son, and here is what I thought of them. (If you wait a couple of days and visit my column, Suspension of Belief, you’ll be sure to find them there — one day eventually, I’ll probably wind up having all my web content posted in one place, but for now it is where it is).

Continue on for mini reviews of You Don’t Mess with the Zohan and Wanted:

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan: This is the latest Adam Sandler outing, and well, I was really hoping that it would be much better than it turned out being. Personally I’m afraid that Sandler is in danger of becoming a Mike Myers. That is to say, a comedian so big that no one wants to tell him that his stuff isn’t funny.

The premise of this flick is that Zohan (Sandler) is an Israeli counter-terrorist (no one ever says Mossad) who is tired of all the fighting, so he fakes his own death (at the hands of the Phantom, played with a scenery-chewing gusto by John Turturro) and heads to America to become a hair stylist. A plausible set-up, except that the only real problem is that everything that Zohan knows about hair styling has been gleaned from a 20-year-old styling book from Paul Mitchell.

Once in America, he winds up styling hair in a hole-in-the-wall place run in (what can only be termed the “Little Middle East” section of NY, as it is populated by only Jews — on one side of the street, and Palestinians on the other). The shop is owned by Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui) a Palestinian woman. Well, as good as an anti-terrorist that Zohan is (and he is Israel’s uber James Bond (think Superman without the cape and tights) he is stuck in some weird sort of 1980s loop (he still thinks Americans go to discos).

Get Smart is way funnier), but wait until it comes out on DVD, so you can do it in the privacy of your own home.

Wanted: Now here was a fun flick. Based on the eponymous Top Cow comicbook by written by Mark Millar with art by J. G. Jones, it is about a 1,000 year-old fraternity of assassins. The clan grew out of a society of weavers and they get their mission hits from a mystical loom that is powered by Fate. The targets come out in a series of codes that are translated by their leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman). well the fraternity’s safety is compromised by Cross, and assassin gone rouge. So his son Wesley (James McAvoy)is recruited to be trained and fight back. this flick co-stars Angelina Jolie as Fox, one of the fraternity’s top hitters.

This film shows off it’s pedigree as the premise of it could only have been developed by comicbooks writers as it really only works in sort of a Matrix-style universe, where assassins can “curve” bullets, or speed up their hears so that they can react faster to situations than those around themselves. Don’t get me wrong, this is all fine, and — for the purpose of this film — that premise works just fine, but it it really is the sort of shorthand that comicbook writers use to get their stories to work.

Now, as a comicbook fan (and writer of comics) I fully endorse this sort of thing, as it really makes for an interesting sort of story. So, while the action is Die Hard intense, the CG_generated SPFX are Matrix-cool, and Angelina Jolie is bodaciously-babilicious, I can see right where Millar developed all of his chops (League of assassins = Ra’s Al Ghul league from Batman, right down to the healing Lazarus Pit — oh hell, the way Wesley is situated in the pit hearkens back to Hans Solo in Return). The Weaver’s hideout evokes imagery from Ra’s Himalayan retreat. Even the slo-mo “Bullet Time” effect that the Wachowski brothers developed for the Matrix, has it roots in comics’ ability to break down dime one panel at a time.

Still, none of this counts against the film, but makes it all that much more exciting, as Millar really does know how to tell a story. Now while I never read the original story, it doesn’t matter, as I’m betting that this film follows pretty closely on what that was. So go out and enjoy a slam-bang film that will sure to thrill.

See you all in the funnypapers.

The Perfessor