My son Dylan has returned home. He arrived on Sunday morning at around 5:30 in NY, and was back with us by 7:30. He was not tired, but wired (he had slept on the plane), and then spent part of the day at his friend Michael’s house working on some project that they were given to the kids by their group leader.

Later on, he joined the rest of us as we visited both sets of his Grandparents for Mother’s day, (a belated happy Mother’s Day to all of you moms) and to a party at a neighbor’s. He regaled all of us with stories of his travels, and presented many of us with very cool gifts. Later on he began the arduous task of catching up on two weeks worth of back homework (from which he was not excused), eventually succumbing to jet lag and crashing out on the lounge chair.

I’m so glad he went, and very happy that he has returned to us. Needless to say, my beautiful daughter is now making noises about being allowed to go on a family trip that the Temple is offering to Israel for next February. While we are not certain that she will be able to go, we are beginning to seriously consider it.

Some of the posts that they made were on a special web page that the youth group put up to document the trip, while photos of some of the gifts he brought back are here. Among the things (and gifts) he brought back were a Polish McDonald’s Happy Meal (I wrote a book about fast food toys back in 2001, so it is fun to collect foreign toys)

He also brought back some coke bottles and cans from Israel, as well as a Spider-Man Dredel for me. Now how cool is that? Anyway. While I’m glad that he went, I’m equally glad that he’s back, and I’m certain that his journey around the world is just beginning. Of course, now my daughter is looking at a family trip to Israel that the Temple is offering next year…

From the second the movie started, from before the WB logo hit the screen, the colors started.

And I had one thought:

Welcome back my friends, to the acid trip that never ends…

First off, my recommendation for this movie:

If you still do drugs like pot, speed or acid, go see this movie. You’ll be bored during some stretches, but it’s worth it to have all the pretty colors washing over you like multi-color waves on a psychedelic beach.

If you are an epileptic, do not go see this movie. Nothing here for you, move along.

If you have a male child with an emotional age between 6 and 15, take him and see the movie.

If you merely wished you were 12 again, go see this movie.

If you were a fan of the old Speed Racer cartoon… yep. It does not dishonor the old material.

If you couldn’t get enough of Anakin Skywalker racing in a race where other drivers would purposefully cheat to knock a driver out instead of, you know, actually going fast enough to win the race, this movie is for you.

If you’re a fan of John Goodman, yep, go see this movie.

If you’re here to see Christina Ricca, Susan Sarandon, or some young braindead actor playing Speed, run. This is not the movie to watch these guys.

If you’re a member of PETA and you want to be outraged that a chimpanzee was used in the filming, I suggest you go get a life. Bite me.

SPEED RACER is a cartoon come to life in every sense of the word. Oh, the movie business has made movies before from animated cartoons before — Flinstones, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Underdog… Do NOT compare those lame attempts to this one.

SPEED RACER is what happens when the makers of THE MATRIX meets up with Japanese animation of the mid 60s. Frankly, I couldn’t imagine what the original proposal for this if someone came up with this and proposed it to more “traditional” filmmakers. They’d laugh you out of their offices if you proposed a movie half as whacked out as this thing.

Yes. This movie is a large pile of pretty garbage compared to more traditional films. But it’s bright, cheery, and makes absolutely no apologies about being there to tell the story of Speed Racer.

To you Speed Racer traditionalists, you’re already making plans to watch this, so the rest of this review is not for you.

For the rest of you who are still on the fence about seeing a glorious mess on screen, here’s the skinny:

The movie opens up with Speed in a overly colorful classroom being the car obsessed pre-teen who is equally obsessed with his race-car driving brother, Rex.
Here’s a link to the first seven minutes of SPEED RACER on Yahoo! Movies

Like Luke Skywalker was instructed to (close his eyes and) “Feel The Force”, Speed is told to “listen” to his car. Lame, but of course helpful later on in the movie.

We’re then quickly told of the inexplicable moral decent of Rex, occuring after Rex strangely leaves home when Speed is still a kid. The equally mysterious death of Rex gets played up pretty quickly. This is left to hang as some sort of anecdote… until later, naturally. There’s a plot here involving the realization that, in this alternate reality obsessed with car racing, there’s a deep dark secret involving large corporations rigging the racing results for corporate greed. Speed is invited into this marvelous world by a large corporate “good guy” who, of course, is anything but good.

In the process of this introduction to the world of corporate racing, we get to see a multi-colored world of extravagance and richness. The lure is tempting, but Speed resists. The rest of the movie is essentially about three or so Speed Racer cartoon plots strapped on top of each other, complete with lots of racing footage that NASCAR could only dream about.

You’ll be tempted, as I was, to compare the crash-lust of the audience and commentators to the present day NASCAR fan. These crashes aren’t attended to by any yellow or red flags, and the ejection of racecar drivers are accompanied by various “oh, they’re okay” quick cuts to the cockpit of the car filling up with protective bubble cocoons or parachute ejections.

With the messy stuff out of the way, all we have left is a flash of color.
Okay, a LOT of flashes of a LOT of color.

This is what you’re going to see with this movie. The opening sequence I talked about before the WB logo is exactly like a kaleidoscope, and that’s why you’re paying to see this at the movies rather than waiting for a DVD version.

In other words, you might miss something, even if it’s on HD-DVD. If you’re worried about that, then by all means, plunk down your money, and you might get to see John Goodman spin around a nunja. Yes, a nunja.

Because they don’t make ninja’s like they used to.

What if you could make a logo out of stiffly shaped bubbles and have those bubbled filled with helium?

Why, you could make floating logos!

In the words of David Letterman…

Is this anything?

www.flogos.net

A teaser trailer for

IRON SKY

where in 1945, the Nazis do something completely different.

Alas, there’s not a whiff of plot in this teaser trailer, merely the premise.

Sound only req’d for sultry background music.

I loved the initial film noir look of this. Very stylish, very nicely done. I wish there was more just like it.

Movie website: Ironsky.net

Update: Apparently, it’s a comedy. And I was sooo hopeful!

The first two people to reply to this message will get a free book

And here’s the two catches:

You have to be able to read Slovakian.
You have to live inside the United States or Canada.

Yeah, that first catch is a doozy.

I don’t expect any replies to this.

Making the rounds of the internets comes the corniest toast to a bride you’ll ever watch, and as I always say…

Corny Works.

The original video I was linked to was even longer than the one I’ve got here; some kind person edited out the first eight cards the guy presented in silence.

I won’t spoil the reason. If you have the desire to listen all the way through, you’ll end up knowing a lot more about Amy than you ever thought you would watching a wedding toast.

If you do stick around, the reaction at the 1:00 minute mark is worth it.

And then it really gets corny.

So, on Saturday, I went to see Iron Man (for the first time) and truly enjoyed the film. It was (essentially) true to the comicbook origins (updated — naturally enough from the ‘60s to the modern day) while incorporating some of the later additions to the Iron Man mythos. We got to see Tony Stark build the initial suit, as well as its two updates. There were all of the characters that we needed to see (Pepper Potts, his administrative assistant), Happy Hogan (his pal/driver/bodyguard), James Rhodes (re-imagined as a Col. io the U.S. military), as well as Obidiah Stane (cast as his overbearing “partner”).

So, instead of the crimson and gold Avenger being birthed in the rice paddies of Vietnam, he was born in the caves of Afghanistan, but that was to be expected. Now while I’m not a huge Iron Man fan, I will attest to the fact that much of what we saw on the screen rang true with what I’ve read in the comics for the past 45 years or so. Hence, I give this film a big (Iron-Clad) thumbs up. In fact, I’m probably going to see it again, just to see if there was anything I missed the first time around.

I’ll present a much more formal review later from my Film review site, but for now, it was the coolest. Oh yeah, when you go, you should sit through ALL of the credits to get to a way-cool bit after all the credits have run. Trust me, you’ll love it.

Oh, and then just for fun, here is an image of some of the Speed Racer cars that are being packed into boxes of Cheerios.

UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE!

My full-blown review of Iron Man, can be found on my film review site (yes, yes, Walk, I’m eventually going to move everything over to My personal site. ‘Til then, cut me a break, will ya¹?)

The Perfessor

Yes, it’s Star Wars on meth.

If you know the Star Wars movie that starts out on the Ice Planet Hoth, then you’ll recognize this short film.

How do you know geeks did this? There’s not a female within a hundred yards of this production.
Sound needed only for cheesy sound effects.

Today is Free Comic Book Day, around the country comic shops are giving away free comics to introduce patrons to the wonders of comics. And no, all comics aren’t free, just ones specifically produced for this event. Want to know where a comic shop near you is located? then go here.

I’d say more, but I have important stuff to do today (unfortunately none of them involve getting free comics. My daughter’s best friend is having a Bat Mitzvah, my nephews are having a First Holy Communion, and a birthday. Then I’m going to see Iron Man.

(Everyone grab your bats, and cue the music!)

Bahm, bahm, bahmbahmbahm!

The Perfessor