Speed Racer: Walt’s Quick Review
by Walt Posted on May 09, 2008 under Movies | 3 Comments
From the second the movie started, from before the WB logo hit the screen, the colors started.
And I had one thought:
Welcome back my friends, to the acid trip that never ends…
First off, my recommendation for this movie:
If you still do drugs like pot, speed or acid, go see this movie. You’ll be bored during some stretches, but it’s worth it to have all the pretty colors washing over you like multi-color waves on a psychedelic beach.
If you are an epileptic, do not go see this movie. Nothing here for you, move along.
If you have a male child with an emotional age between 6 and 15, take him and see the movie.
If you merely wished you were 12 again, go see this movie.
If you were a fan of the old Speed Racer cartoon… yep. It does not dishonor the old material.
If you couldn’t get enough of Anakin Skywalker racing in a race where other drivers would purposefully cheat to knock a driver out instead of, you know, actually going fast enough to win the race, this movie is for you.
If you’re a fan of John Goodman, yep, go see this movie.
If you’re here to see Christina Ricca, Susan Sarandon, or some young braindead actor playing Speed, run. This is not the movie to watch these guys.
If you’re a member of PETA and you want to be outraged that a chimpanzee was used in the filming, I suggest you go get a life. Bite me.
SPEED RACER is a cartoon come to life in every sense of the word. Oh, the movie business has made movies before from animated cartoons before — Flinstones, Rocky and Bullwinkle, Underdog… Do NOT compare those lame attempts to this one.
SPEED RACER is what happens when the makers of THE MATRIX meets up with Japanese animation of the mid 60s. Frankly, I couldn’t imagine what the original proposal for this if someone came up with this and proposed it to more “traditional” filmmakers. They’d laugh you out of their offices if you proposed a movie half as whacked out as this thing.
Yes. This movie is a large pile of pretty garbage compared to more traditional films. But it’s bright, cheery, and makes absolutely no apologies about being there to tell the story of Speed Racer.
To you Speed Racer traditionalists, you’re already making plans to watch this, so the rest of this review is not for you.
For the rest of you who are still on the fence about seeing a glorious mess on screen, here’s the skinny:
The movie opens up with Speed in a overly colorful classroom being the car obsessed pre-teen who is equally obsessed with his race-car driving brother, Rex.
Here’s a link to the first seven minutes of SPEED RACER on Yahoo! Movies
Like Luke Skywalker was instructed to (close his eyes and) “Feel The Force”, Speed is told to “listen” to his car. Lame, but of course helpful later on in the movie.
We’re then quickly told of the inexplicable moral decent of Rex, occuring after Rex strangely leaves home when Speed is still a kid. The equally mysterious death of Rex gets played up pretty quickly. This is left to hang as some sort of anecdote… until later, naturally. There’s a plot here involving the realization that, in this alternate reality obsessed with car racing, there’s a deep dark secret involving large corporations rigging the racing results for corporate greed. Speed is invited into this marvelous world by a large corporate “good guy” who, of course, is anything but good.
In the process of this introduction to the world of corporate racing, we get to see a multi-colored world of extravagance and richness. The lure is tempting, but Speed resists. The rest of the movie is essentially about three or so Speed Racer cartoon plots strapped on top of each other, complete with lots of racing footage that NASCAR could only dream about.
You’ll be tempted, as I was, to compare the crash-lust of the audience and commentators to the present day NASCAR fan. These crashes aren’t attended to by any yellow or red flags, and the ejection of racecar drivers are accompanied by various “oh, they’re okay” quick cuts to the cockpit of the car filling up with protective bubble cocoons or parachute ejections.
With the messy stuff out of the way, all we have left is a flash of color.
Okay, a LOT of flashes of a LOT of color.
This is what you’re going to see with this movie. The opening sequence I talked about before the WB logo is exactly like a kaleidoscope, and that’s why you’re paying to see this at the movies rather than waiting for a DVD version.
In other words, you might miss something, even if it’s on HD-DVD. If you’re worried about that, then by all means, plunk down your money, and you might get to see John Goodman spin around a nunja. Yes, a nunja.
Because they don’t make ninja’s like they used to.
