Paris Hilton is in Britain, making a fool of herself and lusting after hunky blond German soccer players. If she can fit one in her purse and take him home with her, she’ll love him and stroke him and call him George… mainly because she can’t pronounce Lukas Podolski(German)

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Google has launched it’s Google Checkout, a potential rival for Ebay’s PayPal. I’ll check this out, because PayPal is wonderful but we’ve all had issues with PayPal. If you haven’t ever had issues with PayPal, consider yourself fortunate. As for Google, their motto “Do No Evil” will surely be sorely tested with their new money service. Right now, Google Checkout looks to be just a way of keeping your billing and shipping information in one simple place — there’s not much in the way of a bank there as yet.

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You may not have yet heard of the name “Ubuntu”, but you will. It may sound slightly African (”humanity to others”), but in reality, it’s all geek. The news is that this is a geek thing that they’re trying to make un-geeky.

There are more flavors of the Linux operating system than Baskin-Robbins has flavors of ice cream, but Ubuntu is working hard to be the one flavor of Linux that normal folks can use on their home computer. If Linux drivers can be made (drivers=software designed to get the operating system like Windows or Linux to play nicely with hardware, such as video cards) as the new hardware comes out, this can catch on.

It’s still a geek thing, but it’s nice to see them trying.

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LG Electronics (Korea) has a cell phone that can prevent drunk dialing on the cell phone.

If there was only a way to prevent drunk Ebay’ing. (yes, the punchline was stolen)

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The movie “The Devil Wears Prada” has fashion critics complaining that the outfits worn by the characters in the movie are too fashionable for what people wear in real life. [NYTimes]

Uh, like someone carrying around an “it” bag for everyday work is going to blow the veil of believability to most of the red state audiences…

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And finally, Heather McCartney is doing a large and public meltdown during her divorce procedings with the former Beatle, Sir Paul. We knew the muckrakers would get to work quickly, and sure enough Heather’s porno past was brought up. Fuel to the fire of that was the now denied allegations that she was actually a highly paid hooker. I’ve seen the pics… she couldn’t have gotten away with charging too much.

But now from Heather herself comes the shocking belief that she’s to be assassinated:
She fears she could be attacked like Lennon and fellow Fab Four member George Harrison by a crazed fan because of the intense interest in her private life at present.

So, she’s out there filming her own papparazi while they film her. Tell us, Heather — why are you doing this? You think you’re going to die, and this film is what, evidence for the police to what, like catch your killer because he was stalking you? Because I have to tell you, filming your attacker will NOT slow them down.

Here’s a clue: Move to America, buy a ranch in South Texas and buy large guns. Then, pull a Dick Cheney on your papparazi.

One photog wounded in the face during a “bird shoot” and all those nasty assassins will think twice.