One of my on-going gripes (and those of you who have been hitting this site with any regularity know that I have a bunch of ‘em) is that in this country we seem to forgive anyone who can toss a ball with any amount of skill, while anyone who can perform quadratic equations is branded an egghead and immediately pantsed.

That is to say that — for whatever reason — we seem to love our sports figures, but smart kids are looked down upon.  Well, here is an instance of being too good at sports. It was recently reported that there is a 9-year-old kid in New Haven, CT that can whip a fastball at 40 MPH.

If you have never played baseball, that’s wicked fast for a 9-year-old. Well, seems that this kid is so good, no one can hit off him, so he has not only been banned from the league, but his team is being broken up and the kids from the team are being scattered among the other teams.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (AP)—Nine-year-old Jericho Scott is a good baseball player— too good, it turns out.

The right-hander has a fastball that tops out at about 40 mph. He throws so hard that the Youth Baseball League of New Haven told his coach that the boy could not pitch any more. When Jericho took the mound anyway last week, the opposing team forfeited the game, packed its gear and left, his coach said.

The AP story goes on to say:

Jericho’s coach and parents say the boy is being unfairly targeted because he turned down an invitation to join the defending league champion, which is sponsored by an employer of one of the league’s administrators.

Jericho instead joined a team sponsored by Will Power Fitness. The team was 8-0 and on its way to the playoffs when Jericho was banned from pitching.

Personally, I’m not a big sports fan, but when we give medals to all kid sports teams, and have no-cut policies that prevent coaches from building a winning team (because being told that they aren’t good enough to play will apparently hurt kids’ feelings and scar them for life) we aren’t doing these kids any real favors.

Seriously, imagine what the world would be like in the real world if you were able to get any job you wanted regardless of your skill set and never being able to be fired no matter on your performance level. Since when have we decided that striving for mediocrity is a good idea?

Makes me want to drink. Of course, most everything makes me want to drink, but that’s another story alltogether.

The Perfessor

These days, a kid’s life during summer is all about camp, play dates, Tennis lessons, and about 100 other things that parents feel we have to organize around keeping our kids busy for two months. Back when I was a kid (yes, in the last century, wise guy), Summer was all about hang out in the neighborhood, walking in the woods, playing with my friends and perhaps playing a game of pick-up baseball.

In a country that regularly flaunts politicians that spout “family values” you would think that some of those Father Knows Best/Leave it to Beaver values would still play in the suburbs well, perhaps out in the heartland, but not here on the Gold Coast of CT. Over in Greenwich, CT, kids are an unavoidable asset that are to be neither seen or heard, but just there as bragging points (“My kid is going to MIT”, “My kid is a Dr.”). So when a bunch of teens in Greenwich decided to do something constructive, positive, and playful, well, you can read it for yourself:

Tim Bellantoni hit one over the Green Monster yesterday - well, sort of.

Here, the locals don’t pronounce it “mon-stah” the way they do in Boston and the pitcher was wearing Vineyard Vines flip-flops instead of spikes.

And shagging a fly ball could lead to a nasty case of poison ivy.

To Tim and a group of resourceful teenagers, their field of dreams is a vacant town-owned lot on Riverside Lane that they converted into a miniature Wiffle ball stadium, complete with outfield fences, bleachers, foul poles and a backstop.

They built a 12-foot-high replica of Green Monster in center field, not in left field as at Fenway Park. Their thinking is that the leaves from an imposing tree would obstruct home runs from clearing the fence. The teens even added some American flags and signs atop the wall, including advertisements for Taco Bell’s Frutista Freeze slush drink.

(Via Stamford Advocate)

No small deal this so called “Field of Dreams”, as the story was picked up by the local TV station, and has since gone national with stories appearing from Boston to Cleveland. Oh heck, even the New York Times itself has gotten into the act.

Personally, I’m not entirely sure what the world is coming to, but I do know that those noisy kids should just sit inside in front of their big screen Wiis, smoking dope, and playing their rock and roll (but only into their headphones), and stop bothering me with all of this “bonding” crap.

The Perfessor

* * * UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE * * *

This just in, News 12 has just reported that the kids have lost their bid to keep the field open. The First Selectman has determined that there is a liability issue involved with the kids playing on Town property, and has shut them down.

Needless to say these kids have just learned early on that you can’t fight city hall, and “The Man” always wins.

Right now the Olympic Torch is winding its way towards Beijing, where it will light up the opening ceremonies of the 2008 Olympics. Unless you’ve been living with your head in a bucket (or made a deal with the devil to un-marry your wife Sorry, side reference), you will be aware of the fact that there is some consternations about the fact that the Olympics are in China (something to do with Tibet, I’m told).

At any rate, a whole buncha folks seem to be upset over all of this, and are doing their level best to extinguish the torch before it gets to China (again, something about human rights violations or some such nonsense). Thing is, now all the talking heads on the 24-hr TV networks are yammering about is should we or should we not boycott the Olympics.

Fools.

In the ancient world, the Olympic Athletes were the only ones who were given a free pass to cross enemy lines. Wars that were being waged, stopped so that the athletes could cross unmolested. We have so politicized the Olympics that it isn’t funny. So whenever I hear someone talking about boycotting the Olympics (like these empty-talking heads on TV) I want to bitch-slap the A-hole.

To make my point the last (only) President to boycott the Olympics was Jimmy Carter. You might recall that he didn’t get re-elected. You may think that this is a coincidence, but I have my own theory (like you didn’t see this coming, eh?) Consider this. For many of these athletes this was their only shot at Olympic Gold. When it came time for Carter to run again, do you think that any of these kids were going to vote for the guy who personally screwed up their lives? Not hardly.

I know, I know, I can hear you already, so a couple of hundred whiny athletes didn’t vote to reelect Carter big deal. Well, it wasn’t just the U.S. team, it was all their family members, and all of their friends, and perhaps even former athletes who understood their pain. Now imagine all of the boys and girls clubs and all of the (middle schools?) high schools, from whence those athletes came. Now factor in all the schoolmates, teachers, coaches, fellow city and town residents, and all of the local politicians (especially the Republicans) who watched as the kids were let down by their government.

Not enough you say? You just might be right. So consider this. Hundreds of U.S. corporations paid thousands and thousands of dollars for the privilege of attaching “Official Sponsor” to their name. The U.S. Broadcast networks paid some serious bucks to broadcast the games, U.S. Newspapers were all stoked up to report on the games (and reap the financial reward from increased circulation and the influx of all those afore-mentioned “Official Sponsor” mega-dollars). Then Carter gos and pulls the rug out on all of them, and says we’re not going.

Now look at all the revenue that was lost by all the corporate sponsors, and as much as these CEOs love their burgeoning sports heroes, they love their company bonuses even more, and when some bone-headed politician with morals and ethics gets in the way of them lining their pockets with good ol’ U.S. dollars they are simply not going to let one go by without some form of retribution. Starting to sound like a plausible theory now, eh?

So tell me again that boycotting the Olympics is a good idea.

The Perfessor

Now THERE is a football game.

For those of you who may have been bored by the lack of scoring, got your fill of cool commercials [TVSquad], and left, you missed it.

For those of you too drunk to care about anything but hitting on the Hooter’s waitresses, you missed it.

This particular Super Bowl had just about everything for you.

• An Undefeated Team
• A True Underdog Team
• Half Decent Commercials
• And best of all, A Lack of John Madden [YouTube about 1 minute in]

The sportsbook was very generous, so as to attract the most amount of sports bettors, some of which would never think to bet on football. As we all know now, not only did the Underdog Team “cover the spread” they actually BEAT the other team!

How often does that happen? Well, I already discussed this in a previous post about past Super Bowl upsets. The upset that occurred yesterday will certainly go down in history as one of the more shocking upsets, but for its own reasons. The New York Giants had a weak team led by a wet behind the ears quarterback playing in the shadow of his father as well as a brother who actually won the Super Bowl the previous year. I say “weak team” only to indicate that the Giants were not seeded very high as the season ended. Early season losses and some player injuries made the Giants look like they didn’t belong in any game during the playoffs… games they ended up winning.

Yes, it was a defensive battle. Boring to some who may have idly watched the occasional game. The Giants could move the ball, but not score when it got close, and the Patriots looked like they were just waiting around to make that huge yardage gainer, striking a blow to the morale of the upstart Giants.

The key in this defensive battle was the running game, both for the Giants as well as the Patriots. The Giants were on the field for the better half of the entire first quarter, running the ball. The Patriots indeed moved the ball and scored, but most of the plays didn’t involve the run. Relying on the skill of the quarterback Brady, who had already won Super Bowls on the strength of his passing arm, the Patriots looked to bend a little to the Giants, but would later on simply score seemingly unchallenged.

As you know if you watched, the Giants DID challenge. But not offensively, eh? No, the Giants Defense was the force in this game. Not by forcing mistakes… but by stopping the routes the Patriots had traditionally chosen to gain yardage. That quick pass out to the right flat? Little to no gain. The short passes were covered. … And then the Giants continued to stop the run.

We all assumed that the Giants might come down and score another touchdown or field goal before the half, but a mistake ended that drive. But it was that the Patriots couldn’t score… that was the key at halftime.

So, yeah, a defensive battle.

Halftime… Nothing like watching 20 year old white girls bop around to music that was popular 30 years ago. I suppose the halftime show was a “safe choice”, something without any phallic symbols or other sexual body parts being flashed onstage. Just a darkened arena with a lit up penis shaped “arrow” entering a heart…
UPDATE: here’s a pic:

Geezer rock passed off as SuperBowl entertainment…
If the halftime shows keep up this progression, next year we’ll have Wayne Newton singing “Danke Schoen”…

By now, anyone sticking around to see this bore fest has to really like football or live in New England.

And then the fourth quarter rolled around.

Folks, this is what you watch football for. Normally, you’re relying on well known quarterbacks with balls of steel picking apart the defense with their razor sharp mind and threading the needle with their passes, placing the ball exactly where they want it. Well, not so much. Up until now, this contest was one of futility, with both quarterbacks in serious need of offense of ANY type. Thankfully, we were soon to be saved.

Both quarterbacks ended up coming alive in the fourth quarter. Manning was three for three, all great passes, and suddenly the Giants went ahead by three.

As we all know, a good team wakes up, and the Pats and Brady certainly did. They responded. Oh, wait. They didn’t. Brady made a couple of short passes that he’s so famous for, and then threw two incompletions and the Patriots had to punt.

What do the Giants do? Put the knife in and twist, by scoring again? Uh, no. Three and out. Pats will get the ball back.

You can practically smell the Pats scoring on this drive.

And they do. Short Pass Right, Short Pass Right, running play (hey, finally the run comes back!) Short Pass Right, Short Pass Left, Short Pass Left, incomplete pass… Yeah, you get the point. Something that the Pats could have done the whole game they finally get around to doing at the final part of the fourth quarter. This is what everyone expected to see done in the first three quarters.

You get the point. The Pats score, going ahead again and leaving the underdogs with one last shot. It’s a few seconds before the two minute warning. One last chance. If the winning team has the ball, they take a knee and run out the clock. The team that’s losing has one chance, and you can’t make a single mistake.

And the bettors are all going “Wow! The Giants beat the spread!!”

The Boston Globe is waiting to print their “19-0 Perfect Season” book I mentioned.

The rest of us are just waiting for the Patriot defense to sack Eli Manning and end the Giants’ fairy tale dreams.

And they do sack Manning. Well, almost sack him.
And he hurls the ball down the field into double coverage where the receiver gets one hand on the ball trapping it against his helmet and the ball hits the ground before the guy can maintain control. Well, almost, because the receiver is tackled by the defender, and the defender’s leg hip is under the falling receiver, giving the receiver another 1/4 second to control the ball, which he somehow does. The ball never quite touches the ground, and the catch is official.

Google Vid link
Slightly better NFL version preceded by commercial [NFL.com]

The Giants are on the 25 yard line, and it’s a miracle how they got there. It will take at least one more to win. There’s just 59 seconds left to play. Down by four points, you score a touchdown or else.

And then Manning gets sacked. Timeout. At this level of tension, you don’t go to commercial. You just wonder what the hell is going to happen next.

And then an incomplete pass. Time stops with 51 seconds.

And then…

Two short passes to win the game.
Final Pass in the final seconds to win [Google vid]

The End.

The Patriots are not
19-0
they are
18 and D’oh!

And one fairy tale gets told while the other fairy tale gets trashed.

We all like fairy tales where the underdog wins out, bringing home the chalice, vanquishing the dragon…

But this is football. In football, the underdogs don’t usually win.

While it’s fun to watch one team upset another (and it was, for me at least)

As a football fan, you want strength and ability to count for something. You want skill to triumph over luck.
In short, you want the team that has won more games to continue to win. You want the team dynasty.
That perfect season.

So, I’m torn. I watched a great game that had defense, miraculous catches, quarterbacks escaping and best of all…

no John Madden. Now THERE is a football game.

Apparently, the Giants fans are pissed about recent events.

Here’s Carl, from Adult Swim, on his pick:
sound and sense of humor req’d.

continue reading "Carl from Adult Swim replies about the Giants’ chances [vid]"

POST SUPER BOWL UPDATE: For obvious reasons, this book has been removed from Amazon.com’s listings. AWWWWWW!

Ah, is this book placed in the fiction section then?

Let’s put the cart before the horse, because the Pats are so favored that you might as well hand them the trophy now.
This book listed on Amazon.com describes a fantastic season… But one that is still a fantasy.

A little outrageous, perhaps?

Well, why not, eh? The New England Patriots are favored by one of the largest margins in Super Bowl history. If the New York Giants DID manage to win, it would be a huge upset… Although not the largest upset.

That big upset still belongs to the New York Jets beating the Baltimore Colts back in 1969. The Colts were favored by 18 points then, and Joe Namath made a name for himself by predicting a Jets victory.

Of the nine teams that have been on the favored side of a 12 point spread, six have won AND covered the spread. So, maybe the author (The Boston Globe gets the credit here) isn’t that far wrong to place their bets on a book that will most likely change from fiction to non-fiction in just a few days time?

-Amazon.com
-LATimes.com

Let’s start out with what the Prince has to say about the NFC Championship matchup from a week ago:

From the 1988 movie

Coming To America

Eddie Murphy as Prince Akeem from Africa.

sound req’d

continue reading "Super Bowl Prediction Thread"