Cuppacafe

Walt and I have had this discussion numerous times since the first film was released. Here is a short version of what the Twilight phenomenon is all about.

Got it now?

The Perfessor

Every once in a while I remember watching the 20^th anniversary broadcast of Saturday Night Live, hosted by Chris Rock. For the event, they chose to have basically every cast member and as many of the big stars who passed through the show appear either in the show itself or in the celebrity audience.

What truly made this moment memorable for me was Rock standing there and saying that he was completely awed by being in the presence of so much stellar talent, followed by him observing that it was amazing that so many talented people could have turned out so may truly awful movies.

It is true. In fact it is so true that it is probably safe to say that more bad movies have been spun out of SNL than out of any other single concept ever in the history of motion pictures. On some level, I'm truly stunned that they even allow any more SNL sketches to be developed in to feature-length films. I mean, hasn't anyone yet realized that virtually anything can be funny for five minutes, but if you try stretching it out for 90 minutes or so, it tends to lose the funny around minute six.

Well, that is precisely what happened with MacGruber. On its surface it is a parody of MacGyver, and while I'm sure that the SNL sketch is funny enough (I've never seen the bit), it simply doesn't play out on the big screen. Further, not only does the entire concept fall flat, but the film itself is badly acted, poorly directed, and well, resembles the train wreck at the beginning of The Fugitive, except it isn't nearly as interesting.

There was a time that the SNL players referred to themselves as "The Not Ready for Prime Time Players" I think that they should now begin to refer to themselves as "Not Ready for the Movies Players"

Now I know that there are some of you out there who will tell me that even from the trailer you could tell that this movie was going to blow chunks, well so too did I, and there is a reason that I allowed myself to attend a screening (it was free, but even still I feel ripped off), and right now I can't think of one that validates the amount of time I put into attending.

Still, I do now have a word to describe the worst possible experience possible, and it is MacGruber

Yeah, I know that you silly kids love it when I post stuff like this, so here we go, Iron Man toys are now available at Burger King. There are eight toys to this set, but what makes this set really cool, is that for the first time there are four toys in the set targeted for girls. Now I know that these places regularly offer toys for boys and girls and run them together, but this time the four girl toys are also Iron Man-related, and I think that makes them very interesting, especially given that Iron man is so clearly a "boy" movie (even though there are several very strong female characters).

The movie hits theaters on Friday, May 7.

The Perfessor

Yeah, you're right, that headline does look pretty silly. Thing is, last week when I saw Kick-Ass on opening weekend (in Charlton, VA, by the way), that's how the theater spelled the movie's name on the electronic marquee "Kick-A**" Yes, really.

Personally, I didn't quite understand it either, as there were posters for the film in the lobby and out front that had it spelled correctly. Still, that nonsense aside, I wanted to talk a little about the film itself (my review is over at Suspension of Belief), still, there is a bit about the film's message as it were.

As you probably already know, the film is based on a comic published by Marvel (by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.). Well, I tried reading the comic (got two or three issues in then dropped it, only to read the final issue in advance of the film), and, well, I have to say that I really didn't like it (the comic) very much (although — interestingly enough — I did really enjoy the film).

Now while you may think that this is perhaps odd, but not really, you see, for me the comic and the film, while both telling the same story, exist in two different realms as two different forms of media. In some sense, I view comics as "my house" and well, the level of violence and obvious disdain for the medium and form of superheroic comics put me off, while that same level of graphic violence in the movies was — to me — simply de riggur, hence, acceptable.

Anyways, like I said, the violence in the comic bothered me on some level (especially as it was a superhero comic), while in the film, it really didn't. Don't get me wrong, the level of violence in books like Wolverine or Punisher don't bother me, as they are the basis of those series. If, however, that level of violence were to show up in Spider-Man, yeah, it would bother me. Now I know that you are going to point to Watchmen (ostensibly a superhero comic sporting a high level of violence).

Still that didn't bother me either, because they did have superpowers, and there was an underlying code to what happened in that book.

Here, however, it really seemed to be violence for the sake of violence., strictly for the shock value and well, that really bothered me in the comic at least. still, if you want to see the film. It really is wicked cool. So if you are looking for random acts of senseless violence, wrapped in pseudo-heroic iconic images, and bundled up in sycophantic fanboy wet dreams, then, yeah, this is the film for you.

The Perfessor

OK, this is really wicked cool, it has just been reported that the only known copy of a 1913 silent film about Abraham Lincoln that stars Francis Ford (the brother of John Ford, director of The Grapes of Wrath, The Quiet Man, and other classic films).

When Lincoln Paid, a 30-minute film about the mother of a dead Union soldier asking Lincoln to pardon a Confederate soldier whom she had initially turned in, stars the brother of John Ford, director of "The Grapes of Wrath," "The Quiet Man," and other classics.

"I was up in the attic space, and shoved away over in a corner was the film and a silent movie projector, as well," Peter Massie, a movie buff, said of his discovery in the western New Hampshire town of Nelson. "I thought it was really cool."

It was the summer of 2006, and the film canisters sat in his basement for a while before Massie thought of contacting nearby Keene State College, where film professor Larry Benaquist thought it was a rare find.

After working with the George Eastman House film preservation museum in Rochester, N.Y., the college determined that the film, directed by and starring Francis Ford, did not exist in film archives. In fact, it was one of eight silent films starring Ford as Lincoln; there are no known surviving copies of the others.

Speaking as a film buff, this really is a cool discovery. Keene State College in New Hampshire (near where the film was found), plans an April 20 film screening of the film. One can only hope that someone plans to release it on DVD so those of us who can't make it to the showing will get to see it as well.

The Perfessor

No, no, nothing sinister here. This is simply me of indicating that I have a couple more film reviews that I want to share with you fine folks.

These are a couple that I've seen over the past couple of weeks, and (from what I understand), are still doing quite well at the box office (and with the critics).

Needless to say, I have more, and will be posting them as I get them up on the web. Oh yeah, and as I have done previously, I am putting up the first couple of paragraphs here, and then linking you up with my regularly-scheduled film review column (where you will find these and more).

**********

Alice in Wonderland: Rated “PG” (109 Minutes)

Starring: Johnny Depp, Mia Wasikowska, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover

Directed by: Tim Burton

After watching this interesting and stylistically innovative film from the pocketbook of Walt Disney Pictures and trippy visionary mind of director Tim Burton I became acutely aware of two very distinct things.

1. Other than the White Rabbit, the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party, and Croquet with Pink flamingos (complete with the white Queen shooting “Off with their heads!”) I knew nothing about this story. And
2. The structure of this story is (apparently) very similar to that of The Wizard of Oz. At least in that they both start in the real world (Alice in Victorian England, and Oz in turn-of-the-century Midwest), and then move into a dream-like world where many of the inhabitants resemble folks left behind in that world.

The rest of this review can be found @ Suspension of Belief

She’s Out of My League: Rated “R” (104 Minutes)

Starring: Jasika Nicole, Jay Baruchel, Lindsay Sloane, Krysten Ritter, Mike Vogel

Directed by: Jim Field Smith

Every average Joe-schlub has a dream, and that is to somehow manage to score with some uber-hot babe. Most of us will never have that opportunity, simply because wicked hot women simply don’t look at ordinary guys (George Carlin once remarked that while he never did it with a “10” but one night he did it with five “2s”), so you can certainly understand the draw for this film amongst it’s target audience.

The rest of this review is available @ Suspension of Belief

Enjoy, Effendi!

The Perfessor