Cuppacafe

And you thought your commute was hell

I’m not sure who has the worse gig here, the lion or the guy chauffeuring him around the ring. Think about who had the idea to put the lion there in the first place. I mean, how do you get a lion to _do_ that??

I can imagine the booking agent calling up the lion —
“Yeah, Fluffy, I KNOW your cousin got the gig at the MGM studios, but this is all I got this week. Take it or leave it.”

via [Le Blog Moto] and [Jalopnik]

Making pseudonyms illegal

There’s no stupid person like a stupid legislator, except a stupid legislator with some idle time on his hands.

A Kentucky lawmaker wants to make posting anonymously online illegal in his state.

I mean, how exactly is this to be imposed?

The bill would require anyone who contributes to a website to register their real name, address and e-mail address with that site.

Their full name would be used anytime a comment is posted.

If the bill becomes law, the website operator would have to pay if someone was allowed to post anonymously on their site. The fine would be five-hundred dollars for a first offense and one-thousand dollars for each offense after that.

Yeah, that will work out well.

Moving a server across state lines pretty much guts this approach, but aside from the lack of enforceability, the concept of preventing anonymous “Letters To The Editor” dates back to the founding of the printed word in America.

From a PBS article:

During the eighteenth century, it was common for writers and journalists to use pseudonyms, or false names, when they created newspaper articles and letters to the editor. Franklin used this convention extensively throughout his life, sometimes to express an idea that might have been considered slanderous or even illegal by the authorities; other times to present two sides of an issue, much like the point-counterpoint style of journalism used today.

When Franklin used a pseudonym, he often created an entire persona for the “writer.” Sometimes he wrote as a woman, other times as a man, but always with a specific point of view. While all of his writings were focused and logical, many were also humorous, filled with wit and irony. Silence Dogood, Harry Meanwell, Alice Addertongue, Richard Saunders, and Timothy Turnstone were a few of the many pseudonyms Franklin used throughout his career.

The legislator, Representative Tim Couch, says he’s doing this to prevent online bullying. I have news for you, Rep. Crouch.

You FAIL.

What is online bullying? Is posting “You Suck!” considered an offense? Do I have to call your genetic heritage into question before you consider that a crime?

Do me a favor first, Representative Crouch. Tell the phone companies that would call me without providing their Caller ID to start ponying up a few dollars for hiding who the hell they are. Tell the phone companies to start paying you to allow anonymous phone solicitation to my house, because I consider that a crime, too!

And tell all the people on the highways to post their name and address on the back of their cars, because bullying on the highways ought to be a crime, too!

Idiot.

– —

UPDATE: The Federalist Papers were also written anonymously by “Publius” and rebutted by “the Federal Farmer”.

And the Supreme Court ruled in 1995 in the case McIntyre v. Ohio Elections Commission wrote:

Protections for anonymous speech are vital to democratic discourse. Allowing dissenters to shield their identities frees them to express critical, minority views . . . Anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority. . . . It thus exemplifies the purpose behind the Bill of Rights, and of the First Amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation . . . at the hand of an intolerant society.

Hot off the Press!

Hey, I saw this in Entertainment Weekly’s Hot List, and thought I’d post it here. No, it really isn’t funny, but you have to admit that the way it got written up was pretty hilarious.

The Perfessor

Evening Fireworks Tomorrow

Ever read the story or perhaps seen one of the many adaptations of Mark Twain’s last book, Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court?

Then perhaps you remember the critical denouement of Hank “predicting” the solar eclipse, thus impressing the locals and saving his life?

That was fiction. “Ripped From The Headlines” fiction, however.

You see, 504 years ago this month, Christopher Columbus used the trick to save himself and his crew, stranded on the shores of Jamaica. It wasn’t a solar eclipse, but a lunar eclipse. And Columbus wasn’t headed for a death before the King and Merlin, but simple starvation. Columbus and crew pulled the “trick” off, and were given plenty of provisions by the superstitious natives, and were eventually rescued four months later.

Well, in case you have any superstitious types to fool, Wednesday night is your night to have some fun. East of the Rocky Mountains starting a little after 10PM on the East Coast the moon will get dimmer… and dimmer… until it gets lit by a blast of dull red light, the light from the shadow of the Earth. Very spooky if you haven’t seen it. The “totality” or total occurs about two hours after it starts.

Here at Cuppacafe Central in Southeast Texas, the sky has been sparkly clear for the last two nights, and the moon has been bright enough to read with. However, most really cool celestial events in Southeast Texas mean cloudy skies, and so I don’t expect to witness this event.

WAIT!!! THERE’S MORE!

At the very beginning of darkening of the moon, but far away from the official viewing area, something ELSE is going on up in the skies Wednesday night.

West of the Hawaiian Islands in the Pacific Ocean, the US Navy will be shooting down USA 193, the deadly Sooper Sekret Space Thingee filled with deadly gas

The satellite is already tumbling badly. Yesterday, the thing skipped off the atmosphere hard enough to make a brilliant flare, delighting as well as alarming those watching from below.

The US Navy has already filed a NO FLY ZONE order in their missile range and here’s a pic of the details:

Click the image for a more readable view

The times on the chart put USA 193 (as it is known by many) over the restricted area at 10:30 PM Eastern Time. That’s when the experts in the US Navy will go to work.

Most missiles that would come from… say… North Korea… would be lower and going slower than this current target. This satellite is going about twice the speed and three times the height as any Asian based missle intent on doing North America harm.

In other words, it’s not like the US Navy has anything like this satellite killer pre-programmed in their arsenal.

That said, I’m pretty damn confident they’ll hit it. What happens after that, however, will be very interesting.

Stay tuned!

EDIT: The map image is an combination of a couple of maps I found so won’t be precisely accurate.

Twin Babies Save Mom - from the inside

One of those stories that make you go, “Awwww!”

I’ll cut to the chase

Mom gets pregnant

Twins

Twins kick like mad in the womb.

Mom bleeds, goes to the hospital possible miscarriage.

What really happened was — it was cancer. Cervical cancer.

The kicking of the twin fetuses (feti?) dislodged the tumor, and that’s what was bleeding

The couple, who also have a five-year-old son, Jack, were thrilled. But three weeks later, Mrs Stepney was back at the hospital with a suspected miscarriage.

“I was just in shock when the doctors told me what it was. When they said that the babies had literally kicked my tumour out, I just couldn’t believe it.

“If I hadn’t been pregnant with the twins, the cancer may not have been discovered until it was too late.

But… she’s still pregnant. And she has cancer. Cancer that’s usually treated with drugs strong enough to force doctors to terminate the pregnancy.

Nothing like killing your own offspring to be, the ones that found the tumor with their feet and saved your life.

Well, I wouldn’t be writing this if it didn’t have a happy ending… Okay, maybe I would. But not today.

“I knew I could have an operation straight away and it would cure me of the cancer, but that would mean getting rid of my babies and I couldn’t do that.

“I had two lives inside me and I just couldn’t give up on them - especially after they had saved me like this.”

Doctors at the Royal Marsden Hospital in London agreed to give Mrs Stepney reduced chemotherapy in the hope of stopping the cancer spreading during the pregnancy.

So, what happens with the chemo? Are the babies now deformed or worse… Republican?

“They were born without any hair as a result of the chemotherapy, but other than that, they were healthy.

“When I heard them both let out a cry it was the best sound in the world.”

Four weeks later Mrs Stepney had a hysterectomy to remove the tumour. Tests showed the cancer had not spread.

Here’s a pic of mom and killer kids after their first birthday:

Alice on the left, Harriet on the right, now with hair

Daily Mail –How my twins saved my life by kicking loose a tumour while still in my womb

I’m not dead. I just look that way.

One of my unexpected gifts this Christmas was a nasty cold.

I thought I could shake it. It shook me.

I’ll live, but suffice to say that I’ll be ringing in the New Year with a hearty hacking cough that pains my breastbone.

Here’s hoping all your resolutions come easy for you.

HAPPY 2008!!

World Orgasm Day

What would happen if everyone contributed to the peace and harmony of the planet all with one gesture, all at one time?

Like having an orgasm.

It would be like having a psychic JUMP that would rock the world’s unconscious and change the energy of the world for the good of all.

Aw… who am I kidding, it’s all bullshit. But tomorrow night / early Saturday morning (depending on where you are on the globe) is the solar solstice — Winter Solstice for us in the Northern Hemisphere, and Summer Solstice for those down under — Down under meaning those in Australia have a head start on reaching their orgasms, but I digress…

When is the solstice in your area? Check this handy chart
Here in the United States’ Central Time Zone, the Winter Solstice occurs eight minutes after midnight this Saturday.

According to GlobalOrgasm.org, this will be the second annual “Orgasm For Peace”. Apparently, they’re going to keep trying until they get it right.

I anticipate that as usual, my dog will be the middle third of a threesome in our bed, which means I’ll not be able to concentrate enough to reach orgasm that night. Sorry. No World Peace from my loins anytime soon.

I originally saw this Global Orgasm Day story in the Sydney Morning Herald website who’s author quotes a sex survey done by AdultShop.com and I’ll repeat that here:

• 20 per cent of respondents orgasm with absolute ease, whilst if the right buttons are pushed, then 62 per cent of respondents can do the same.
• 77 per cent of men achieve an orgasm through intercourse, but only for 18 per cent of females do the same.
• Foreplay induces orgasm ‘a lot of the time’ for 32 per cent of females and 30 per cent of males
• 55 per cent of respondents have faked an orgasm, while 32 per cent said they’ve never had to. WA residents appear to fake it the most, followed by Victorians and Tasmanians.
• According to the results, it’s actually more important for our partner to orgasm during sex than us.
• When it comes to reactions to having one, 14 per cent scream, shout, moan and groan and don’t care who hears. And for those who cry…there was less than 1%
• 5 per cent have had an orgasm at the movies. (Other interesting places our respondents have had an orgasm were the office / at work, at their in-laws house and even on public transport.)
• 57 per cent said their best orgasm was with their current partner, followed by an ex with 15 per cent.
• Only 2 per cent said their best was with someone they don’t know.

Apparently, zero percent said their best orgasm was when their dog was trying to wedge her way between her owners while they were trying to help world peace with a well timed orgasm.

I’ll let the world come first. It’s a tantric thing.